bathroom etiquette
by lauraxtennant
Summary: The Doctor interrupts Rose when she's in the bath. Then Rose does some interrupting of her own.
1. Chapter 1

"Rose, do you have any idea how difficult it is to concentrate with you doing that?"**  
**

She glared at him. "You're the one who interrupted me. You're the one who came into my _private_ bathroom whilst I was having a very _private_ bath."

"Yes, and you're the one who cocked up the TARDIS' plumbing," he retorted, tongue poking out between his teeth as he fiddled with the pipes under the sink. "Besides, you said you didn't mind me fixing it up while you're still in there. If you remember, I did offer to leave and come back to sort it later…"

It was true, she thought, sighing in frustration. She had made the executive decision to stay very much in the bath whilst he sorted out the plumbing problem. And, fine, so she'd thought that having a perfect view of his pinstriped bum whilst he was on his hands and knees a few feet away from her would be a lovely way to pass the time.

She just hadn't anticipated him taking so long about it.

"That was half hour ago," she huffed.

"Well, this is a tricky business!" He reached into his toolbox and extracted something she was 95% sure he didn't actually know how to use. In fact she was pretty certain it was actually a kitchen utensil they'd picked up from the 43rd century.

"But the water's getting cold." She fought to keep the whine out of her voice. The last thing she wanted was him getting irritated with her. Especially as she suspected he was already a bit miffed that she'd accidentally ruined her bathroom sink.

Although, really, that wasn't _all_ her fault. He was the one who had taken them to that planet with the excellent pretzels. How was she supposed to know that she'd get a bucket of gloop thrown over her for daring to eat said pretzel in the holy marketplace? And how was she supposed to realise that wringing said gloop out of her hair over her sink would block the drain up?

No, it served him right, she thought, extending her leg out of the water again, eyeing it contemplatively. He'd been complaining about the noise of the water distracting him each time she restlessly moved about. Well, she'd fix that for him. She reached out her arm and grabbed a fluffy white towel off the rail above the radiator, and stood up. Tucking it around her, she stepped out and perched on the edge of the bath, before leaning back over to grab her shaving gel and razor.

::

The Doctor cursed under his breath as he heard her stand up.

It wasn't that the thought of her being very much unclothed behind him was causing him any problem at all. Certainly not. She was his best mate, and he was a Time Lord; he was hardly the sort to get giddy over a bit of naked skin. Naked skin which, in point of fact, he couldn't even see, considering he was facing away from her. Naked skin which, all right, was probably dripping with bathwater, and probably quite lovely, and probably a little bit alluring, but that wasn't -

That wasn't anything for him to concern himself with.

Besides, he thought to himself, whacking the pipe he was examining with the device he was half sure wasn't actually a tool at all. She obviously felt comfortable enough in his presence for him to sit around in here whilst she was bathing. So presumably she wouldn't take too kindly to discover that he was thinking about her with no clothes on. Which was fine by him; he hadn't batted an eyelid at first, because it wasn't like - well, it wasn't like -

This was hardly a sexy situation.

For a start, she'd buggered up the TARDIS plumbing by getting that ridiculous goo stuck in the pipes. He should be a bit angry about that, and he pretended he was, with the rigid set of his shoulders and his stern, "I leave you alone for five minutes!" But it was difficult to be angry with a woman who apologised with her eyelashes.

Secondly, he'd seen plenty of bare skin before. He'd seen plenty of _Rose's _bare skin before, when she wore those bikinis of hers at the beach or in the TARDIS pool, and it had never got him hot and bothered.

Well. Not _that_ hot and bothered.

The point was, nudity wasn't such a big deal for him, not like it was for humans and their ideas about modesty and the way they'd sexualise a bloody apple if they could.

Still, he couldn't deny the flush that crept up his neck and face as he realised she was no longer covered by plenty of bubbles.

He kept his eyes diligently on his task, and a few seconds later, tried to ignore the sounds of something swiping along her skin. He suspected she was shaving her legs. Which meant that she was probably currently situated in a very interesting position, perhaps with her leg propped up and -

Yeah, best not.

He gulped, and went back to tuning her out so that he could concentrate on fixing the blasted pipes.

::

Rose waited for him to say something. He didn't.

He was infuriating.

She'd thought that maybe, just maybe, the clueless alien wasn't so clueless after all; that maybe he'd realise that when she'd said he could stay in here, she didn't actually want him to fix her bloody sink.

Or, well. He could _start_ to fix her sink, and then things could turn out a little differently, like one of those porn films Mickey used to watch, with the helpless, barely dressed young woman and the plumber or mechanic or postman or whatever else.

No such luck.

She finished with her left leg and turned around to prop her right one up for better access, lathering it with shaving gel. As she resumed her task, she wondered whether he was actually getting anywhere with the pipes, or if he was just pretending he knew what he was doing out of sheer embarrassment. It would be so typical of him to persist with something he was useless at, just to avoid admitting he couldn't do it.

"Um, Doctor?"

"Mmm?"

"You nearly done?"

She heard him sigh. "Not quite."

"Want me to call Mickey? Think he's in the gamesroom but I'm sure if I went and asked him to help - "

She turned just in time to see his head hit the sink, which made her laugh.

"Beg your pardon?" he said, rubbing his forehead. He didn't look at her, though.

"He's quite good at handy sort of stuff. Fixed Mum's washing machine when it broke last year. Sure he'd have no trouble with this." She dipped her razor into the water and finished up. Standing, she flexed her leg for a moment to get the feeling back - however flexible she was, keeping it in that position had tired her muscles a bit, especially after their miles of running for their lives that afternoon.

She glanced down to make sure her towel was still secure, covering all the important bits, and wiped her hands on it. "I'll go and fetch him."

"Not necessary," the Doctor assured her.

"It's fine - "

"But you're naked," he said next, and the way he froze the instant the words had come out of his mouth told her he hadn't meant to blurt that out.

"No I'm not," she laughed, and cautiously, he turned his head to face her.

His eyes widened. "You're - ahem. You're still…not quite dressed."

Rose shrugged. "It's all right. I know you're a bit of a prude, Doctor, but it's not like Mickey's not seen it all before, yeah?"

She made for the door, counting to three, and then -

"It's not something he sees these days, though, is it?" he asked.

Bingo. Rose turned around again. He was on his back, now, propped up on his elbows to look at her.

"And," he added, before she could respond. "I'm not a _prude_. To be honest, Rose, that's a bit of an archaic concept - "

::

She smiled at him, and he narrowed his eyes, hoping she wasn't patronising him.

"Right. Course you're not. Sorry." She grabbed her dressing gown off the back of the door, put it on and tied it loosely, then let the towel drop beneath it. His eyes dropped to where the fabric pooled at her feet, then moved back up to her face, taking the leisurely route to fully take in her new state of dress.

"Better?" she asked.

"Different," he remarked.

He quite thought he'd dream about the cheeky grin that came to her face in that moment. He'd dream about it for centuries.

"I'll be right back. Don't break the pipes. Mickey will be useful, promise."

She left the bathroom and he tilted his head back, lying fully horizontal on the floor. He tossed the laser spanner he was holding into the toolbox, along with all the other pieces of equipment he'd attempted to unblock the pipes with, and decided that he was absolutely fine with Mickey fixing it instead. So what if Mickey was better at this than him? The Doctor had a _time machine_, and he reckoned that Mickey the Idiot wouldn't know the first thing about working the console, despite him apparently being such an accomplished mechanic and handyman.

Pffft, he thought, scratching his chin. Even _Rose_ had flown the TARDIS. Mickey wouldn't even be able to find the dematerialisation lever. Looking up, he noticed that he hadn't reattached part of pipe he'd been fiddling with. Thinking nothing of it, he reached up to adjust it.

He was promptly covered in grim, gloopy goo.

Spluttering and coughing, he jumped up, and went to turn the sink taps on to wipe the gunk off himself. And then he remembered that he'd turned off the water to fix the pipes. Swearing, he blindly stumbled over to where Rose had dropped her towel, scooping it up and swiping at his face with it.

"Oh my god, are you sniffing my towel?" said Rose, as she returned to the bathroom.

He finished wiping his eyes and then stared at her, alarmed. "Of course I'm not!"

Her gaze landed on the mess covering the towel. "What…?"

"The pipe might've, well." He shifted, not liking that he'd have to admit he'd made such a mistake. "It spurted goo at me."

::

Rose blinked, once, twice, and then collapsed into laughter, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. "Oh my god. I knew you'd do that!"

"Do what?"

"Mess it up! Oh, Doctor." She walked over to him, and took the towel out of his hands, turning it over and finding a relatively clean bit to wipe at the remainder of the goo. "Sorry, here, let me help." He stood still, letting her get rid of the rest of it, and she smiled at him sympathetically. "So that's both of us who've had that lovely experience."

"Mine was worse," he grumbled. "Least yours came out of a bucket and not a drain."

"Still." She finished up, and tossed the towel into her laundry basket. "You okay? Didn't sting your eyes, did it?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks."

"No probs."

"Did you find Mickey?"

"Yeah, he says he'll come and take a look in a sec. Got to get to the next level before he can save the game, or something."

"I see."

"So you're gonna let him sort it, then?"

"Well, to be honest, the blockage is probably clear now. But he can…reattach the pipe. If he doesn't mind."

"It's fine." Rose giggled softly and reached up to smooth a bit of his hair away from his forehead. "You need a shower."

He smiled. "Yeah. I'll go and do that. In my own bathroom, where the pipes are nice to me."

She stuck her tongue out at him as he walked out. "Your own fault!"

"You blocked it!" he called back to her.

"You took us somewhere with stupid rules about pretzels!"

He poked his head around her door. "It wasn't just about pretzels, Rose. Any food consumed in that marketplace is a direct violation of their seven most sacred commandments - "

"You could've told me that," she pointed out. "You know, before I took a bite."

He flashed her a grin. "Might've forgot. Sorry."

Rose rolled her eyes. "You would."

"See you later."

"Yeah."

She watched him leave again, and fiddled with the tie on her dressing gown. And then, she had an idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose knocked on the Doctor's open ensuite door.

He whirled around with a grin, having just turned on his shower to get the water heating up. He was still clothed, with his shirt-sleeves rolled up, and she bit her lip as she just took him in for a moment.

"Miss me already?" he teased, then made a show of looking at his wrist, at his non-existent watch. "Only been, what, three minutes?"

"Ha, ha," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She fiddled with the tie of her dressing gown nervously. "I was just…"

"Yeah?" he prompted, putting his hands in his pockets and angling himself towards her.

She took a few steps over to him. "You interrupted my bath, earlier."

"Yes, which was your fault, as we've already discussed."

"A bit, it was a _bit_ my fault," she corrected, then continued, "But basically, I couldn't enjoy it. The water went cold. And, I just realised that I've still got a bit of shampoo in my hair, that I didn't rinse out properly."

"Oh?" He leant closer, peering at her hair. "Looks like you got it all out to me."

Rose tried to look innocent, but with the way he was raising his eyebrow at her, she didn't think she'd succeeded very well. "Anyway. That shower of yours looks very inviting."

He seemed to cotton on to what was happening, then, because his eyes cleared and he shook his head. "No, no. Don't even think about it."

Taking a deep breath, Rose undid her dressing gown, and he immediately covered his eyes with his hand. Smiling, feeling sort of giddy with how bold she was being, she jumped into his shower.

"Rose. Come on. That's not - "

"Mm, this is nice! How comes you've got a bigger shower than me?"

"Because this is _my _TARDIS."

"Well, that doesn't seem very fair."

"I'll tell you what isn't fair. You've stolen my shower," he grumbled, his hand still over his eyes as he turned in her direction. "You were the one who said I needed one, remember? What with the goo and everything?"

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Rose…"

"I'll be two secs, Doctor, don't worry." She reached for his bottle of shampoo. "Hmm, this stuff looks good." She flicked open the lid. "Uh. Oh, no. Smells like bananas, typical."

::

When he heard her say that, he realised she was about to nab some of his favourite shampoo. Without though, he bounded into the shower and snatched it from her, holding it to his chest. "No, no, no. That's not yours."

"What, is it only for special Time Lord hair?"

"Yes!" he said, nodding vehemently. "And it's in limited supply, so - what? What are you looking at me like that for?"

"Doctor. You do realise you're standing in the shower with your clothes on, right?"

His eyes widened. "Oh." He was right in the spray, too. He turned his face up to it for a moment, letting it wash any remaining bits of goo away, then ducked out from the direct onslaught of the water.

"And that I'm_ not."_

"Ohhh." He ran a hand through his hair.

Rose laughed, and patted his chest. "You're a good bloke, aren't you? Decent."

"Hm?"

"Well, anyone else would be taking the opportunity to get a good look, but you? Eyes firmly on my face."

His jaw clenched. "Mmhmm."

She played with his shirt buttons. "Not even tempted?" she said, smiling slowly.

"Nope," he squeaked, then swallowed hard.

"You're still in here, though," she pointed out, and he realised that yeah, he was, and why was it that he couldn't get his legs to take him right back out of the shower? They certainly hadn't had a problem taking him into it.

"I am," he confirmed, and didn't move an inch.

Her fiddling had opened one of the buttons on his shirt. "Why's that then?"

"Rose," he murmured, then cleared his throat. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

Rose laughed, but she sounded a bit nervous as she replied, "No. Just wondering if you want to join me properly." She tilted her head. "You know, without your clothes."

"You _are _trying to seduce me," he realised.

She bit her lip. "Is it working?"

He put the shampoo bottle he was still holding on the ledge behind her and avoided her gaze. "Maybe."

"I'm not very good at this, am I?"

"It's certainly different."

"Doctor…"

He couldn't bear the embarrassment sweeping over her features. "I can't pretend the idea isn't appealing," he said, eyes searching hers. "But it's not really appropriate, either, is it?"

"Why not?"

"Rose, we travel together. We're - we're best friends. Shower-sharing isn't exactly par of the course for us."

"But it could be."

"I don't know if you've really thought this through," he protested, shaking his head.

"I don't _stop _thinking about this. Well, not _this, _not the showering thing, but…you." Her eyes were so earnest and it was killing him.

His hands moved up, reaching out to touch her. They settled on her waist, squeezing lightly. "Rose."

"If you don't want me, please just say," she murmured, her eyebrows drawn together. "Then I can…I dunno, get over the idea."

He felt goosebumps rise along her skin, where he was holding her. And he desired nothing more than to pull her against him, slide his hands down to her bum, feel her curves, kiss her, hold her, taste her.

::

"Of course I want you," he confessed, his voice low and deep.

Rose breathed out in relief. "Then…?"

The Doctor made a small, distressed noise, then inclined his head, touching his lips to hers. Her hands curled into his shirt, fisting the fabric tightly, opening her mouth beneath his. They kissed one another fiercely for a few moments, and she pressed herself against him, revelling in his touch, in the attentive sweeps of his tongue, in the wet, clingy fabric of his suit against her chest and thighs.

And then, he pulled back, pulled away, panting and staring, and he turned and left the shower.

"Doctor, what?" Rose whispered, touching her fingers to her lips.

He stopped in the middle of the bathroom, facing away from her.

"You regret it?" she asked, heart sinking. "Already?"

The Doctor's head whipped around, and then his body followed suit, turning to face her, his hands busy unbuttoning his shirt. "What? Oh. No. I was just going to - " He looked down, and his hands stilled. When his eyes raised to meet hers again, he smiled sheepishly. "This okay?"

Rose sighed out a breathy laugh. "Oh. Yep. Yeah, definitely." She swallowed. "Just warning you though. I'm not as nice as you; my eyes are definitely gonna wander."

::

He grinned, resuming his task of unbuttoning his shirt, and deliberately let his eyes travel down her body. "Oh, Rose. That's absolutely fine."

Stripping off his shirt, he watched her gaze linger on his chest. He couldn't deny that he was excited to see what her reaction was going to be once he took off his trousers and pants, too.

Twenty seconds later, and it turned out that Rose's reaction was extremely gratifying.

He hopped back into the shower with her, pulling her into his arms, and his mouth descended on hers again. Shuddering as her hands skated up his back, he did what he'd wanted to do earlier, and cupped her bum in his hands. He trailed his lips along her jaw and moved down to her neck, nibbling and sucking until she was squirming against him, pressing herself against his erection, and he decided they needed more space, better leverage, and a lot more pressure.

"Rose, as wonderful as this, d'you mind if we move this out of the shower?"

"God yeah," she agreed.

He planned on leading her out of the ensuite and to his room, to his comfy, cosy bed, but as soon as they stepped out of the shower her arms were around his neck and her fingers were raking through his hair, thoroughly distracting him. Instead, they stumbled towards the sink, and he grabbed Rose beneath her thighs to hoist her up onto the counter.

::

Rose let out a squeak as the Doctor lifted her up, and then she wrapped her legs around him, ankles crossed over his bum. He bucked his hips against her and she gasped as the head of his cock brushed her clit.

"Jesus, fuck, Doctor," she groaned, placing a steadying hand on the counter behind her as she arched her back. She knocked off a few bottles but he didn't seem to notice them crashing to the floor, so she refrained from apologising, and tilted her hips instead, trying to get him inside her.

He held her waist, then, stilling her movements, murmuring for her to slow down. She laughed weakly, and kissed him, whimpering against his mouth when he took his cock in his hand and moved it through her slit, slicking himself up. And then his hand was on her thigh, moving her legs further apart, and he was there, pushing in, his face buried in her neck as he entered her in one smooth, slow stroke.

Experimenting a little to get the angle right, he rocked her back and forth, and she thought she might burst from how fucking good it felt. She tilted her head back, accidentally banging against the mirror behind her, but barely even noticing it, not with the way his teeth latched onto the skin near her pulse point. She'd never thought that someone giving her a hickey would feel so good; but then again, she'd never had the Doctor between her legs before.

She couldn't believe all this had started because she'd eaten a pretzel somewhere she shouldn't have. The thought struck her suddenly and she started laughing, which had the Doctor lifting his head with an offended expression on his face.

::

"Rose, is this not - "

She squeezed her legs around him, squeezed something else around him, too, and he took both in good spirits. She was giggling too much to reassure him properly, though, so he remained a little insecure.

"Seriously, why are you laughing?" he asked, stroking her hair back from her face, lips quirking as he realised just how much happiness seemed to radiate from her.

"Nothing, it's silly, don't worry," she wheezed out, and so he thrust back into her and turned the tail-end of her giggle into a groan. "Oh, god, that feels good," she gasped, throwing her head back again.

Satisfied that she wasn't laughing _at _him, he leant in close and kissed along her jaw. As he did, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror above the sink, and stilled.

Rose noticed his pause and stroked her thumb across his cheek. "What is it?" she said softly.

"We're having sex," he whispered.

"Yeah, we are."

He nodded at the mirror, and she turned her head slightly to see.

"Oh." Her voice somehow got naughtier when she repeated herself, "Yeah we are."

He nudged his nose against hers, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Can I watch, too?" she murmured, and he jolted in surprise.

"You - you - " He swallowed, and glanced at the counter, at the mirror, and did a few calculations in his head about whether he could get the angle right. He desperately wanted to give it a go.

Nodding, he moved out of her, and she hopped off the counter, turning around. He stroked his hand down her back, feeling her muscles flex under his touch, and he stared at her in the mirror. She was smiling at him, and he utterly adored her.

"Rose," he murmured, then adjusted his stance, easing into her from behind. She gripped the counter, moaned out his name, and he started to thrust. He wanted to sustain eye contact with her in the mirror, but it felt too good, it was too much, too difficult to concentrate on anything other than the way it felt to be inside her.

::

Rose was a bit embarrassed by how much she was enjoying herself, and even more embarrassed by how turned on she was simply by watching the Doctor in the mirror, by the expression on his face as his eyes fixed on where they were joined.

Still, she didn't think he'd tease her for it, considering he seemed just as enamoured by the situation.

She extended one hand down to help herself along, groaning as soon as her fingers made contact with her clit. She was so close, and it was too quick, really, she'd initially wanted to make this last longer, but given that the past however many minutes had been the most erotic moments of her entire life, she forgave herself for wanting to suddenly speed things along.

"Doctor, oh god, gonna…"

He sank in deep, folding over her, his chest now pressing along her back, and she reached out and grabbed what she could to keep herself stable, gripping the tap of the sink tightly as she came so hard she saw white spots dancing in front of her eyes. His hips stuttered and he hooked his hands around her shoulders, hugging her to him from behind as he thrust in a final few times and followed her over the edge.

::

Panting for breath, still collapsed on her, he stroked aside her damp hair as he tilted his head and press a kiss to the back of her sweaty neck, giggling to himself in disbelief.

"Rose," he murmured, his throat gravelly.

"Mmmm." She seemed to gather herself together again at his voice, reaching a hand behind her to push him away so she could breathe.

"Sorry," he grinned, standing up straight, wincing as he slipped from her. He stretched his tired muscles.

Rose braced herself on the counter and rolled her shoulders back, and he laughed softly, running his hand down her spine.

"Okay?"

"Achy," she replied, but she smiled at him in the mirror, and he wrapped his arms around her middle, drawing her back against him. Her hands rested over his, squeezing lightly.

Settling his temple against hers, he met her gaze in the reflection, drawing his eyebrows together. "You weren't too uncomfortable, though?"

Rose bit her lip, unable to stop smiling. "No. It was fun. And really, really sexy."

They stood there silently for a few seconds, just staring into the mirror with sappy grins on their faces.

"That was so good. Think I could sleep for a week, now, though," Rose teased.

"Mmm, can't wait to see what we can do when we're not rushing," he said, trailing his nose along her jaw.

::

She shifted in his arms, getting restless. "We should clean up. And then have a nap."

He lifted his head and nodded. "Yeah, you're - oh."

"What?" she said, frowning.

He cleared his throat, and pointed to the sink.

Rose followed the direction of his gaze, which landed on the taps.

She'd snapped one of the handles off. "Fuck, am I really that strong?"

"In the throes of orgasm, apparently so," he remarked, eyebrows jumping up his forehead. "Honestly, Rose; are you determined to make every bathroom on this ship unusable?"

She smiled sheepishly and turned around in his embrace, looping her arms around his neck. "Sorry. Guess I'm just having one of those days."

The Doctor smoothed his hands over her bum, holding her snug against him. "Mmm, least you've done some good things too. And to tell you the truth, that tap handle was a bit loose anyway."

"And there goes my idea that I had some sort of superpower."

"Oh, you do have a superpower, Rose," he assured her.

"What's that, then?"

He smiled secretively. "Ah, well." He gave her a kiss. "That would be telling."


End file.
